10/04/09 Leader's Guide

Glued

The Week of October 4th

Getting Started

1) What was your first computer? What was the size of the hard drive and speed of your Internet connection?

2) Share one of your (current) favorite websites to visit?

Digging Deeper

Read Matthew 5:27 -28 and answer these questions:

3) In Matthew 5:27 Jesus tell us not “lust”. In your opinion, when does looking turn to lusting? When does noticing someone is attractive turn to something wrong?

4) What advice would you give to someone who struggles with lust?

5) Read Job 31:1 – What did Job do to avoid lust? What could it look like to make a covenant with your eyes?

Read 1 Corinthians 6:18 and answer these questions:

6) 1 Corinthians 6:18 says to “flee” from sexual immorality. The word “flee” means to “run to safety” or “run to escape from danger” Can you think of a Biblical example of someone who fled to avoid immorality? What happened to them?

7) Can you think of a Biblical example of someone who didn’t get up and leave when tempted by immorality? What happened to them?

8) What safeguards do you have in your life to stay clear of immorality? Can you think of times in the past you made a decision to take yourself out of a tempting situation?

Read 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 and answer these questions

9) What is the connection/contrast in verse 3 between sanctification and sexual immorality?

10) Verse 4 says that we need to “learn” to control our bodies in a way that honorable.According to Titus 2:11-12, what teaches us to say “no” to the wrong desires?

11) Read verse 5 – Acting out in passionate lust is a sign of someone who doesn’t know God. How does knowing God help us avoid that? What about God can we know that will help us avoid immorality?

Putting it Into Practice

What’s one thing you can away from this week’s topic?

9/27/09 Leader's Guide

Glued
1 Corinthians 6:12-20
The Week of September 27th

Getting Started

1) What thought, truth, conviction, etc, has stood out to you most during our “Glued” series?

2) Have you seen sexual values change over your lifetime, if so, how?

Digging Deeper

3) Verse 13 says, “the body is not meant for sexual immorality.” What activities does Scripture regard as sexual immorality? Are there any grey areas?

Some activities that are sexually immoral outside of the marriage bond: vaginal sex, oral sex, phone sex (now its “text-sex”), petting, exposure of sexual organs, etc...

Some activities that are sexually immoral at all times: pornography, voyeurism, homosexuality, bestiality, etc...

4) Verse 13 says “Food is for the stomach and the stomach for food.” Is it sinful to have sexual desires? If it isn’t sinful, at what point do they become sinful?

Having sexual desires for someone other than your spouse is a sign of the fall (like physical sickness is also a sign of the fall); its an indication of the imperfect state we’re in. With that said, God commands us to by the Spirit put to death the deeds and desires of the flesh, which presumes bad desires. As soon as we entertain these desires either mentally or physically, these desires have become sinful. You can’t stop a bird from flying over your head, but you can’t stop it from nesting on your head.

5) Verses 12, 13, and 18 appear to contain slogans on sexuality borrowed by Christians to justify their immoral behavior. What are some slogans or phrases prevalent in our culture? Spend some time and examine them with Scripture.

“If it feels good, do it”
“If it doesn’t hurt anyone, do it.”
“It’s my body to do as I please.”
“It’s natural, so it must be right.”

6) Reread the three “do you not know” passages (vs. 15, 16, and 19). Which of these statements do you find as the most compelling reason to avoid immorality?

7) Read verse 17, what does it mean to “unite” ourselves with the Lord

The Bible gives images like the uniting of head to body, roof to house, husband and wife, and branch tree. All of these images point to a radical identification that we have with Jesus.

8) In verse 18, Paul says that a person who commits sexual immorality “sins against his own body.” How have you witnessed that sexual mistakes can be more painful and damaging than other mistakes?

9) Verse 20 says “you were bought at a price at a price.” Who bought you? What was the cost this person paid? And how does this help us avoid immorality?

A reflection of the passion of Christ on the cross should be more than sufficient to fight unholy passions.

Putting It Into Practice

10) Suppose a couple who is dating is struggling with keeping boundaries in their physical relationship. If they came to you for advice, what would you tell them?

11) What can a married person do to set boundaries with friends/co-workers of the opposite sex? What activities could become dangerously close to crossing a line? For example, is going to lunch okay? What about sharing marriage problems? At what point could fun banter turn into flirting?

12) What safeguards can a Christian put in place regarding TV, movies, novels, the internet, etc?

13) What safeguards do you have in your life to protect against sexual immorality?

Leader's Guide 9/20/09

Glued
1 Corinthians 6:12-20
The Week of September 20th

Getting Started

How were your ideas about sex formed? What has been your main influences?

How does discussing sex in a spiritual or church setting make you feel? Do you feel that same way discussing sex in other social settings? Why do you think there’s a difference, especially when the Bible speaks so much about sex?

Digging Deeper

Read 1 Corinthians 6:12. How does this relate to physical intimacy? How do we distinguish between “permissible” and beneficial”?

Paul does not mean that immoral things are permissible when he says “everything is permissible,” for he had just declared, “neither sexually immoral, idolaters nor adulterers…will inherit the kingdom of God.” Its likely that “everything is permissible” was a slogan some Corinthian Christians used to justify living as close to disobedience as they possible could. In terms of sexuality, they were those who asked, “how far can we go” with the intention going that far. Paul argues that though technically it may be permissible, yet such behavior may be destructive (see verse 12 and next question).

What did Paul mean in verse 12 when he said, “I will not be mastered by anything”? How does this relate to sexual sin?

When you live near the line of compromise, you put yourself in an environment where sin is easier, which makes you vulnerable to the mastery of sin. God would say to Cain, “Sin is crouching at the door, and its desire is for you, but you must master it” (Gen 4:7). Sin is deceitful and destructive. To treat sin casually is like treating a hungry ravenous lion casually. Eventually, it will pounce and devour. In application, given the power, allure, and devastation of sexual immorality, keep clear of any sightings of it.

How would you answer this question, “Why would God give me these desires if He did not want me to act on them? (i.e. “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food” – vs. 13).

This question assumes that natural desires, as we experience them now, are God-given. This fails to recognize that nature is fallen. As a result, we have a propensity to twist all sorts of things that may be good in ways that are bad. There’s a good ambition, and yet our hearts can twist this into self-glorification. There’s a good fear, but our hearts may twist it to cowardice. Food and drink are wonderful gifts, but our hearts may abuse these things. The same is true with human sexuality. It appears that some at Corinth were suggesting that just as all hunger demands eating, then all sexual desire requires fulfillment. “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food” appears to be another slogan adopted by the Corinthians to justify immoral living. Paul response by saying that “God will destroy both” This may be taken as meaning that God’s goal in salvation is to destroy our "body," in so far as it is sinful, so as to liberate us to a glorified physical body that have appetites of righteousness. The fact that God will “rid us of this body of death” (Rom 7:24) tells us that our present desires aren’t the best barometer for determining what is right or wrong.

Verse 13 says “The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord and the Lord for the body. What is Paul trying to say in this passage, in what way is our body meant for the Lord and the Lord for our body?

God has put a down payment on our body. His intention is to redeem it applying Jesus’ righteousness to it in the resurrection. In the meantime, our bodies are on “layaway.” As such, you don’t mess with another man’s property when it is on “layaway.” Similarly, you don’t misuse your body when it doesn’t belong to you, but to God (vs.19).

In verse 14 Paul introduces the subject of the resurrection, how does this fit into his discussion of sexual immorality?

See previous answers.

Verses 16-17 show a healthy and unhealthy example of oneness. In what practical ways can we apply these truths to our relationships to bring oneness?

(1) Share an oneness with God: Couples often have “independent” relationships with God. It’s important for our spousal relationships to be centered on doing discipleship together. (2) Be a one-man woman and a one-woman man: Just as Jesus requires complete fidelity to him, just as he is completely faithful to us, we are called to express that same time of unrelenting devotion in our marriages (Ephesians 5:22-33).

In verse 18, Paul says “Flee immorality.” What are some specific things that we should flee from that are approved by our culture? What are some practical ways to flee these accepted expressions of sexuality?

What do you watch, listen to, think about, and talk about? Job makes a covenant with his eyes not to look a woman with lust (Job 31:1). Paul says that we are to think on what ever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8). Solomon says that one who listens to gossip is just as bad as the gossip. He’ll also spend most of Proverbs speaking about how a fool spouts out folly.

How do we flee? Like Joseph! (Gen 39:12).

In verse 18 Paul says “all other sins a man commits are outside his body.” What does he mean?

The word “other” doesn’t appear in the Greek text. It actually reads, “All sins a man commits are outside his body.” This appears to be another Corinthian slogan (cf. verse 12 & 13) that communicates a conviction that sexual sin had no spiritual consequences. Paul states that we are God’s temple. Just as to commit sexual immorality in the temple would be to profane the sacred place, so to commit sexual immorality with the temple (your body) is to do the same. He says pointedly in 3:17 that if anyone destroys the temple, God will destroy him (cf. 1 Cor 5:5; 11:30).

In verse 19-20, Scripture says that you are “a temple of the Holy Spirit” and so need to “honor God with your body.” How does viewing your body as a sanctuary of God help you to think about sexual sin?

Handle your body the way the priests were to minister in the sanctuary: with fear and trembling.

Putting It Into Practice

If your friend came to you for help with a sexual sin, what practical biblical advice could you offer? Where would you find it in the bible?

9/13/09 Leader's Guide

Glued

The Week of September 13^th

Getting Started:

Do you believe the church community should address the subject of sex more or less? Why?

What are some of the positive and negative ways the media portrays sex? What do you think should change? What should stay the same?

Positive: The topic of sexuality is seen as important and requiring dialogue in some media contexts.

Negative: Often, the boundaries of sexuality are broadened to fit each person’s preference. Typically monogamy is viewed as that which stifles expression. The irony is that our culture often considers that it has a high view of sexuality, but Biblically our culture cheapens sexuality by removing the important boundaries set for expression. It’s like the guy who says he loves his racecars, but keeps entering them in crash derbies.

What are some of the positive and negative ways the church portrays sex? What needs to change? What should stay the same?

Positive: The church has been strong on the boundaries of sexuality.

Negative: The church has been weak on celebrating human sexuality, as well as instructing people clearly on the topic.

Digging Deeper

One of God’s purposes for sex is to create oneness in a marriage. In what ways can sex create oneness? In what ways can it be divisive?

Sex creates oneness…

Physically – Most obviously, it create oneness through physical touch. It connects one of the greatest physical pleasures to another person.

Emotionally – There can be emotional alignment. Studies link regular sexual activity in married couples to the longevity of their marriages.

Spiritually – Body and spirit are connected, and so sexuality and spirituality are connected. If violating God’s plan for human sexuality is something with negative spiritual consequences (i.e. sin), then obeying God’s plan for sexuality is something with positive spiritual consequences.

"Sex can be a wonderful cementer or a terrible wedge.” Dr. Linda Banner

Read Genesis 2:24. In what ways are we “united”? What does it mean to be “one flesh”?

After God had declared that everything he had created was “good,” there was one thing he said wasn’t: man was alone (Genesis 2:18). Which means that God created Adam “incomplete,” needing the union of another. To illustrate the dependency of man and women on each other, God took one of Adam’s rib from his body and formed Eve. The illustration was that Adam was missing something that must be very much a part of him . In their marital union and sexual connection, we have the union (even reuniting) with the result that Adam and Eve are made complete.

Genesis 2:25 says they were naked and felt no shame, after sin entered the world, they covered themselves. While there is much theological symbolism there, in what ways do you think sin has affected sex in marriage?

Augustine speculates that prior to sin, both Adam and Eve had amazing control over their bodies (they were “sovereigns” of their bodies). But when they refused to have God has the sovereign of their lives, one of God’s punishments was to take away their control over their bodies. The shame they felt in the garden was the sense that they were no longer in the same control of their sexuality that they had prior to the fall. This was an unmistakable sign that they had fallen from grace.

In 1 Corinthians 6:16 is a reference to Genesis 2:24. What is God pointing out by applying a marriage verse (Gen 2:24) to sleeping with a prostitute?

God is showing (1) the power and significance of the physical union of sex (one becomes one flesh with a prostitute – becoming part of her) and (2) how our physical union affects our relationship with Christ. As if to say, if you’re a Christian, you are one with Christ. If as a Christian you engage in sexual immorality, becoming one flesh with someone (in this case a prostitute), then you are “uniting” Christ with immorality.

Read Proverbs 5:15-20. What image does Solomon use to encourage his son to stay faithful to his wife? How does the image make his point?

Read Proverbs 5:21-23. What are some consequences Solomon lists for those who ignore God’s design for sexuality?

(1) God’s displeasure (vs.21)

(2) Consequences (spiritual, emotional, physical*) that our difficult to reverse (vs.22).

(3) Spiritual Wandering (vs.23)

*”At least 50 percent of sexually active men and women will have a genital HPV infection at some point in their lives. HPV, or human papillomavirus, comes in both low- and high-risk forms; low-risk HPV can cause genital warts, and high-risk can cause cervical and other cancers.”

Source: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

Putting It Into Practice:

What can we do this week to guard ourselves against unwanted and unbiblical sexual messages?

9/07/09 Leader's Guide

Small Group Questions for the Week of September 7th

Getting Started

1) Faith Essentials: We’re inviting our members to join us for our Faith Essentials Workshop that starts September 15^th. This time is designed to equip you in knowing what you believe and why you believe it. If interested sign up at the information table or email groups@newlifecommunitychurch.net

2) What do you find to be most difficult about sharing your faith: desire (wanting to share it) or delivery (knowing how to share it)? Why?

3) Who is the one person you would most like to see come to faith in Christ?

Digging Deeper (2 Corinthians 5:10-21)

Motive for Mission

4) In verses 11, Paul says that knowing the “fear of the Lord” motivates him to try to “persuade men.” According to the previous verse, what does Paul fear from God? How should fear of God move us to love our neighbors with the gospel? How do we avoid guilt-motivated evangelism?

In the previous verses, Paul speaks of the judgment seat of Christ where he will give account to Jesus for the stewardship of the gospel. The fear is rooted in displeasing Jesus by failing to love one's neighbor with the good news. A proper fear of God should help to motivate us to obey Christ in all areas of life. One potential downside is when "fear" or "guilt" serve as the only things that motivate us. This passage also addresses the "love of Christ" as a fueling factor.

5) In verse 12-13, the apostle says that his mission work wasn’t motivated by a desire to promote himself? What are some of the ways that we can be motivated to share Christ with bad motives?

(a) to show off to others. (b) to gain a following. (c) to have a big church for the sake of having one.

6) In verse 14, Paul says that Christ’s love compels (i.e. motivates) him and his company. What is it about Christ’s love that makes mission for Paul a non-negotiable? Do you think that evangelism is required of all believers?

Though the apostles had a special apostolic call to promote the gospel, we are all called to share God's love to everyone.

7) In verse 16, Paul declares, “We regard no one from a worldly point of view.” What are some ways that we can discriminate against people, even with the good news? Why should the love of Christ compel us to fight against discrimination?

(a) to think people are too far gone for the gospel. (b) to purposely limit you evangelism to people just like you. Christ died for all men, therefore we're called to share with all without discrimination.

Method for Mission

8) In verse 19, it says that God committed to us the “message of reconciliation.” Some have said, “preach the gospel, and use words if necessary.” Using verse 19, what’s wrong with this statement?

If its all good deeds without a verbal presentation of Jesus, people are left up to their own imaginations as to why you did what you did. We would be leaving people to infer the gospel from our good deeds. Chances are they won't.

9) Verse 20 says, “We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors.” In our age, what does it mean for someone to be an ambassador of a country? What are some practical tips that we can borrow from this earthly example to help us in our promotion of the gospel?

10) Verse 20, Paul uses words like “appeal” and “implore” as how he presented to truth to people. It’s been said people don’t care what you know until they know that you care. How did this truth figure into to Paul’s life of mission? What are some practical ways we can build credibility with people for the sake of the gospel? What are some practical ways we ruin our credibility?

11) In verse 21, what are the truths in Paul’s summary of the gospel that are important to share with people? Why are they important?

Putting it Into Practice

12) Who’s Your One: Spend some time and discuss some tactful ways to reach out to your one. Spend some time and pray for them.