10/11/09 Leader's Guide

Real Relationship

The Week of October 11th

Getting Started:

What couple do you know that who models a healthy relationship? How do they do that?

Going Deeper:

Read 1 Corinthians 7:1-5. Verse 4 tell us that as a married person, our body is no longer our own. What else have you given up in marriage as “no longer your own”. How difficult was that change?

A person gives up most forms of independence: relational, financial, emotional, etc. Marriage should be marked by interdependence.

Looking at verse 5, why do you think Paul warned against depriving your spouse of physical intimacy? Why is this concept important to the overall relationship?

“Some in Corinth were trying to practice celibacy within marriage. Apparently this refraining from sex within marriage was a unilateral decision of one partner, not a mutually agreed-on decision (vv. 3-4). Such a practice sometimes led to immorality on the part of the other mate (v. 5b; cf. v. 2). Paul commanded that they stop this sort of thing unless three conditions were met: (a) The abstention from sexual intercourse was to be a matter of mutual consent on the part of both husband and wife. (b) They were to agree beforehand on a time period at the end of which normal intercourse would be resumed. (c) This refraining was to enable them to devote themselves to prayer in a concentrated way” (The Bible knowledge commentary : An exposition of the scriptures)

What is your view of physical intimacy as a debt you owe your spouse? How does verse 5 affect your view?

What practical advice could you offer a newlywed couple to achieve “mutual consent” in the area of physical intimacy?

1. Have you clearly communicated about the issue? If not, do so.

2. Have you considered your spouses’ needs, desires (or lack thereof), and emotions and lived for their benefit? If not, do so.

3. See next questions

Read I Peter 3:1 and 1 Peter 3:7. How should we approach the discussion when reaching the “mutual consent” discussed in 1 Corinthians 7:5?

What practical point was Paul trying to make? How would you rewrite that verse in your own words to make the same point?

Spouses need to relate sexually. It’s an important part of life, and so should not be overlooked as something needing proactive attention.

In what ways does lack of physical intimacy invite temptation? Who is ultimately responsible when temptation strikes?

Read Ephesians 5:25-31. Why is this responsibility placed on the husband?

What do you find most challenging about these passages? What do you find most liberating about these passages?

Putting It Into Practice:

For married couples: Have a discussion with your spouse about the satisfaction with physical intimacy in your marriage. For singles: Share your plan to stay sexually pure until marriage.

Prayerfully consider how you can honor God in your physical relationship in marriage.

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