10/25/09 Leader's Guide

Real Relationships
The Week of October 25th

Getting Started:

1) Growing up, what role did faith play in your family? To what degree were your parents on the same page spiritually?

2) In what relationship or role is it hardest for you to actively express your faith? At work, with certain friends, at family reunions, with neighbors, with brothers or sisters?

Going Deeper:

3) In 1 Corinthians 7:12 & 13, it appears that in deciding whether to stay or deciding to leave, the decision falls to the unbeliever. Why does the unbeliever get to make the decision whether not the marriage will work?

One reason that Paul gives relates to the spiritual condition of the unbelieving spouse – perhaps Paul thinks that such a departure may repel the spouse from the gospel, and continuation may attract the spouse to the gospel.

4) Read verse 14. Sanctify means to make holy. How can an unbelieving person be sanctified through their spouse?

To “sanctify” can simply mean “to set apart” for something or to someone. When a mechanic lays out his tools as he is preparing to work on a car, he does so in order to have quick access to them. The tools are within reach of the mechanic, prepared for him to use. Paul seems to be saying that given the proximity of an unbelieving spouse to the work of God in the believing spouse, they experience a special exposure to the gospel, and so are more prone to having God seize their life.

5) What does it mean for children to be unclean? What does it mean for them to be holy? Malachi 2:14-15 may offer some help.

Paul argues from the obvious to the less obvious. It was obvious to believers that though their children are born in sin (Psalm 51:5), yet given the exposure to and training in the gospel in a family setting, they could have confidence that their children would be far more prone to accept the gospel (Proverbs 22:6). As such they are considered “clean.” Paul then uses this connection to establish that an unbelieving spouse is similarly “clean” or “sanctified” by the presence of the believing spouse, therefore under girding his earlier point that it is best for a believing spouse to remain with an unbelieving spouse unless they chose otherwise.

6) In verse 15 it says that if an unbeliever leaves let them leave, the believing spouse is not bound. What does it mean to not be “bound”? For example, does this mean they are free to remarry?

“Bound” seems to mean constrained to remain unmarried because the divorce was considered unjustified.

7) In what way can the departure of an unbelieving spouse allow a believer to “live in peace” (vs. 16) What is the point of this phrase?

Trying to force a union of two people when one only desires such a union is a recipe for strife and drama in a home. Paul later on suggests that though the unbelieving spouse is “sanctified” by the believing spouse, such a condition doesn’t guarantee the salvation of the unbeliever. In fact, one may infer that a believing spouse who insists on the continuation of the marriage with an unbeliever despite the latter’s protest, may actually end up repelling the unbeliever from the gospel. See questions 3.

8) Verse 16 talks about the unbelieving spouse being saved. What advice would you give to someone married to unbeliever who wanted to influence their spouse toward Christ?

Putting It Into Practice:

9) What can you do this week to bring God into a mismatched relationship?
10) Do you know someone who is struggling as the sole believer in a difficult relationship or job situation? What can you do to encourage them?