11/08/09 Leader's Guide

Real Relationships

The Week of November 8th

Getting Started:

1) If someone you cared about (brother, sister, son or daughter) was getting married, what questions would you want them to think through?

2) How can setting goals such as, marrying by a certain age, marrying someone with a certain career, or someone one with certain physical characteristics help in your search for a spouse? How can it hurt?

Going Deeper:

3) 1 Corinthians 7:36 talks about a man who is acting improperly toward his fiancé. What are some ways to mishandle engagement?

· Getting engaged if you’re unsettled about the relationship.

· Making the ceremony the sole object of preparation rather than the relationship.

· Prolonging engagement unnecessarily.

4) Verse 36 talks about getting along in years, what role should age play in a major life decision (e.g. marriage, going to college, changing careers, having children, etc)?

Age seems to be an important consideration. Let’s take marriage as an example, if you’re getting married at a younger age, you need to assess whether one has the emotional maturity to commit to the relation, the resolve to nurture the relationship through college and career placement, and how kids will factor into the previous two considerations. Consider the following stats on the divorce rate among those who marry young: http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview?id=363986.

On the other hand, the challenges of marrying later are these: (a) sexual purity, (b) companionship, (c) fertility, (d) social pressure to marry earlier.

5) This week’s message encouraged us to settle matters “in our own mind”. Why do you think someone might get married without having the matter settled in his or her own mind? What steps do you take to have peace of mind when you make decisions?

6) We are called to make important decisions “under no compulsion”. What advice can you share to remove guilt or obligation from the decision making process?

Often people make bad decisions when they unjustifiably pressured to make a decision.

7) Verse 39 tells us a believer must marry a believer. Why is this important? How important is this to you personally? Why?

8) What advice would you give a single person to help confirm their future spouse has a real relationship with Jesus Christ?

They lead their personal and social life in a way that brings honor to Christ, including how they relate to their prospective spouse.

9) Do you think there are situations (e.g. pregnancy) where getting married becomes an obligation? What Biblical reasons would you offer to support your view?

Putting It Into Practice:

10) Share one way you can use the principles in this week’s passage in a decision or relationship other than marriage.

11) Are you facing a major decision, ask the group to pray for you.